The journey of discovering and managing borderline personality disorder (BPD) has to start somewhere. NEABPD’s Lived Experience Committee is excited to draw on the insight of individuals with BPD and share experiences. Here’s how some of those Committee Members describe the beginning of their BPD journey:

I learned about BPD on Reddit. I had struggled with my mental health for years. My parents hired treatment providers, but I was misdiagnosed with things like bipolar disorder. I felt misunderstood. On top of that, I felt ashamed that I was too difficult for highly-trained and well-paid professionals to understand and treat. I felt like there must be something seriously wrong with me. When I looked up BPD, I felt seen for the first time in my life. Finally, a diagnosis that acknowledged the turmoil of my inner life. While I was dismayed to learn that BPD was stigmatized and considered an especially difficult disorder, I was overall relieved and grateful to pinpoint the problem. I brought my discovery to my therapist: he said that he already knew but didn’t want to “stigmatize” me by telling me. I fired him. I told my primary-care physician and she formally diagnosed me. Since then, my quality of life has improved more than I had imagined was possible.
Saadia

I was sitting on a light green comfy chair when my therapist diagnosed me with BPD. At first I felt such relief that I wasn’t ‘crazy.’ After years of abusive relationships, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and feeling unsafe in my own mind, the diagnosis felt good. As I left his office, he told me to not look up BPD…I left his office feeling seen and hopeful–but as soon as I got to my car, I looked it up and that hope disappeared instantly as I scrolled through stigma, fear, and judgment about the condition. That was my last time in therapy for three years because I thought there was no point. The original diagnosis gave me hope, but with the lack of education and resources at the time, my diagnosis seemed to hurt me more than empower me.
Des

I was initially diagnosed with bipolar disorder with suicidal ideation. Later on, I shared a book on BPD with my psychiatrist. Unfortunately, he soon retired. My new therapist was not experienced with BPD, so I started attending a dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) group. When the group therapy course was over, I kept bouncing between therapists until I was finally able to find a professionally trained clinical social worker. It took me over a decade to find a therapist and now I can describe my recovery as a tree: rooted and sprouted.
Amela

We look forward to making “This Borderline Life” journey together and learning, loving and sharing with you.