You’ll find stories about best friends everywhere–movies, books, cartoons and more. Best friend relationships can start very early on, even in pre-school or on toddler play dates. It’s a special relationship when we make a connection with someone you trust and enjoy spending time with.

Psychologists say that friendships involve both interdependence and voluntary participation. Each person wants to be in a relationship with the other, they have a sense of belongingness with each other. They are invested in the other person and want the best for them. To work well, the relationship has to be reciprocal.

Are you open to having close friends? Sometimes people may say they are open, but actually they are putting up barriers. One of the common barriers to a close friendship is being too busy. How often do you tell friends that you are too snowed under to connect or spend time together? Being busy seems to be a badge of honor in today’s world and one that everyone understands. But it still affects your relationships. Spending time together, making time for each other, is critical for relationships to grow.

Consider how you are busy. Are you spending an hour on Facebook or other social media? Are you watching hours of television? You may be surprised how you are spending your time. Your daily routine may not include time with friends but there may be room to do so! Paying attention to how you spend your time can allow you to make mindful choices that will be more fulfilling.

You could also consider other options for staying in contact with friends. Sharing little bits of information via text, checking in when you can, having a video call and sending cards sent in the mail to let others know you are thinking of them can help maintain a relationship. Remembering important life events and showing up for those is an important way of letting your friends know you care.

Are friends a priority for you? How do you let them know?

Live a skill-full life. By, Karyn Hall, Ph.D., May 13, 2000