Back in 2017, my ex-girlfriend got married. This was the start of a dark period of my life. When it happened, there were many people who did not know about the relationship. At the time, I was not open with everyone about my sexuality. So when things started to spiral for me—-who was I going to go to for help?

Ultimately, this was the start of my mental health journey and I ended up at a partial hospitalization program where I received the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Once there, I had the freedom and liberty born of desperation to share my truth and receive the skills necessary to move forward on my recovery journey.

One of the characteristics of borderline personality disorder tends to be shame. As an advocate in the BPD community, I often see folks go down the same spiral in addition to self-loathing. The all-or-nothing thinking can be catastrophic.

On top of all this, I grew up in an orthodox religious community where being bisexual was frowned upon to say the least. Yet another example of invalidation in my environment exacerbating BPD.

Even today, I don’t share my truth with everyone. I am much more open about having BPD than I am about my sexuality. And I’ve come to accept that. It’s okay to be who you are, whether you are loud and proud or not. Today, the world is a lot more accepting than it was when I was growing up in the 1980s. For some members of the LGBT community, it’s empowering to share their sexuality. For others, it’s empowering just to know their own truth. Both of these options are okay; the key is to live aligned with your unique values and preferences.

I continue to learn to speak my truth and cultivate communities that accept me for who I am. I’ve learned that acceptance starts with myself. I have come to accept these aspects of my identity and actively seek out environments that tend to have a reciprocal relationship with that acceptance. Today, I have learned to live with vastly more self-love, self-compassion, and self-acceptance than ever before—I wish you the same.

About the Author: Alyssa is a mental health advocate, meme-maker and support group facilitator with lived experience of borderline personality disorder. She volunteers with the Lived Experience Committee to make meaning and spread hope. Instagram @dbtexchange.